Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Mimes

Mimes are always silent
Never really accomplishing anything
Pulling invisible ropes
Pressing invisible glass
Walking against invisible winds
I could be a mime because I never really accomplish anything,
But I don't like being silent, putting on makeup, pulling ropes, pressing glass, or walking against the winds

(Note it is impolite to applaud after the performance of a mime)


Friday, May 16, 2014

Levity

                                                                    Levity is Funny and defies Gravity

Sunday, March 9, 2014

GONE - a poem

Somewhere over the rainbow
Where no one dares to go
Out of the ballpark
Invisible in the dark
Faded in the mist
Ceased to Exist
Gone Vanished Gone
Totally Withdrawn
        GONE

Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Sky is Falling

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Sky Is Falling

The obtuse became obese
While bank interest on savings disappear
Why save when you can spend
Live for today, forget about tomorrow

The sky's the limit.  But how high is the sky?
Asked chicken little, rhetorically
Don't worry just get another credit card

Friday, October 4, 2013

Shopping Mall Zombies

Remember those very old zombie movies that took place in the shopping malls.  If you look around in the large indoor malls, their still there, but now walking around looking for beads, trinkets, jewelry, shoes.  They've progressed and no longer hunger to eat human flesh and have all had cosmetic surgery done so they look like us.  They still move slow though.
Years ago the zombies used to follow the blue flashing lights inside of a large department store, but when that store  stopped their blue light specials, for a short time the zombies could be seen on the streets trying to chase police cars with their sirens and flashing lights on.  After a while they gave up and returned back to the large indoor shopping malls.
 

Monday, September 23, 2013

Riddle



Is the glass half full or half empty?
Confused and bewildered
Then the solution becomes clear
Drink it then there is no question
It is empty
Then I refill the glass halfway
And ponder this question once more


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Easter Island

  Easter island has 887 large statues. The people there spent a lot of  time sculpting , transporting, and placing the large statues on the island.
Perhaps, they wanted to create a theme park to attract tourists to their island. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Vincent

Did you know that Vincent Van Gogh learned to paint by ear?

Friday, October 12, 2012

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Not The Place To Be

There are two types of horse racing.   Thoroughbred racing where the jockey rides on top of the horse and Harness racing where the driver sits on a two wheel buggy only a few feet behind the horse, which is definitely not the place to be when the horse breaks wind.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Freedom - a poem

Time relentless and unyielding
Ceaselessly aging all in it's way
Fate steadfast patiently waiting
For all things to come into play
Cards dealt to you are remaining
So call, raise or just walk away

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Life in the Slow Lane.

  I am now old enough to appreciate life in the slow lane
  Bumper sticker for my car
" I'm old and driving to my grave so I'm in no hurry"

Saturday, June 16, 2012

"Stairway to Heaven" (or Hell)



Many years ago I remember reading that a poll taken had resulted in "Stairway to Heaven" being named as the alltime #1 song.  I later read that it contained Satanic verses if played backwards, which made me wonder why anyone would play the song backwards and how they would do it.  I think at the time all songs were on cassette tapes.  I do not think that any cassette player at that time could play the song backwards.  Perhaps the devil took possession of one of the tape players and made it play the song backwards. 
(Stairway to Heaven)  http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ledzeppelin/stairwaytoheaven.html

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Obscure Random Thoughts - a poem



Smoke Mirrors Reflections
Reality Buried In Illusions
Sanity Warped By Perceptions
Dimensions Change Conclusions
Till All That Remains Just
Obscure  Random Thoughts

Friday, June 1, 2012

No Respect


A few months ago my old cell phone finally kicked the bucket, so I bought a cheap flip dumb phone that works great
Only thing is every time I connect or disconnect it to a charger it says "Coo Coo"

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Golf Trophy


My brother-in law Bruce is an avid golfer and has many golf trophies in his office/den.  This is one of them.
Looks like he played at an Indian Casino golf course.


Saturday, April 21, 2012

Scotch Whiskey & Caber Tossing

The Scots produce the finest single malted Scotch whiskey..
They have a sport  in Scotland called caber tossing where a man lifts a wooden pole that is over 19 feet tall and weighs about 175 lbs grabs it with his hands standing it upright and then runs and tosses it. 
I think there may be a connection between the consumption of Scotch whiskey and Caber Tossing.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

At the Crossroads - a thought


I asked a  rich man in a limousine "Where I was."
He said "In his way, move"
Asked a guy in a old pickup and he said
"About 7 miles down the road from the beer store."
Asked a preacher and he said
 "About halfway between Heaven and Hell"
Asked a guy with a gps and he told me
 "According to his device I was in the middle of nowhere"

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Balance


Earth spinning certifical force should throw us into space
But the earth's gravity force causes us to remain in place
We breathe oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide
Plants breathe carbon dioxide and create oxygen
Everything seems to be balanced

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Marijuana



The real reason that the Federal Government will never legalize marijuana is because of strong lobbying by a group of "All You Can Eat Restaurants".
If marijuana was legalized they all would go out of business.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Pet Rocks

In 1975 Gary Dahl pulled a great joke on 1.5 million people, he took ordinary small rocks put them in the box shown and included a 32 page manual titled "The Care and Training of your Pet Rock"
He sold them and became a millionaire.
Which proves old PT Barnums adage about fools "There's one born every minute"

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

To Blog Or Not To Blog


To blog or not to blog that is the question
Whether it be nobler to remain silient and unwritten
Or to blog and suffer the slings and arrows of those who find your material  objectionable

A wise man once said "It is better to remain silient and be thought a fool than to speak and be known a fool."

I take comfort in knowing I will be the only one reading this and I already know I am a fool.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Enlightenment - a poem

    The veil of darkness surrounds me
    In the far distance appeared a faint light
    Perhaps it would hold the elusive key
    That will unlock the mystery of the night
    I approached the light thinking a Godsent
    Realizing too late that it had turned very bright
    I was blinded by it, too much enlightenment