Zombie Horizons

Zombie Horizons is a new magazine that highlights the Zombie Lifestyle, giving you valuable Insights of Their Culture, Music, and Dance Moves.

Milhouse

i have had a pet fly in my apartment for about a year. It is a good fly and does not land on my meal until after i'm through eating it.
A fly is a very low maintenance pet, you don't have to feed, water it or use the pooper scooper.
The fly is entertaining flying figure 8's around me and once in a while landing on me.

i am worried about my fly, it refuses to eat any of my now healthy meals after i'm through eating them.
About 3 days ago i was worried that my pet fly had followed me to Jen's apt and saw Cal going after a fly with swatter.
i yelled "Don't kill that innocent fly, Cal"
11-29-2018 Am worried about my pet fly Milhouse, i have not seen him in the apt for about a day and a half now. Ever since i named my fly Milhouse about a day and half ago he got mad, didn't like the name. Now afraid Milhouse might have Left The Building, maybe i should change his name to Elvis.
Then he wouldn't be mad at me for naming him Milhouse.
But Luckily i still have my Pet Rock, Sylvester.

Best Soap Opera

With 4 sisters and a wife who loved to watch soap operas, i watched a lot of them.  The best one was where the main character Marco had got shot and killed.  But as it turned out the one that got killed was the previously unknown twin brother  of Marco.  Guess it was between actor contract renewal. So Marco got another season with the Soap Opera.

Chocolates

We i was a kid about a century ago, when our family got a box of chocolates, we would share.
MoM -  DaD - Tes - Marg - Janet - Sandy & me.
I would always take a chocolate, not really know what type it was.  So i would taste it to see if it was one that i really liked.  If it wasn't i would put the half eaten chocalate back in the box for my family to eat.  I Didn't Want To Waste Food.

Powerade

i don't have the power to open a bottle of Powerade.  i have to use a pair of channel locks pliers to open it.

Superman

When i was a kid, i wore a Superman tee shirt and everyone would beat me up.  Guess there was kryptonite everywhere i went.
My Dad was the real Superman was always helping others.

Curling

This sport combines housecleaning, a flat bottom bowling ball with a handle, with an ice rink.  i am practicing sweeping the floor in hopes of making it to Big Time Curling. I have converted my old bowling ball into a curling ball. I've flattened the bottom of the ball, attached a handle and filled the fingerholes. Even if i don't make it to Big Time Curling at least my apartment will be clean.

Steven Wright was Wrong

Or maybe he just Left.

Tes was right.

i used to be worried that someone would steal my stuff, so i bought and installed extra chain door locks, security cams and a security dvr, and a burglar alarm with motion detector and proximity switches .  Then i realized i had nothing worth stealing except my security cams, my security dvr, and my burglar alarm and motion detector.  So i took all that stuff down and locked it up in a room, so nobody could steal them.

Multitasking

There is a relationship between time and space.  i can multi task.  i can occupy space and waste time.

Sounds of Silence

The words of this song are very profound and poetic, but sometimes, i can't hear it.

UBER